Know what I'm sayin'?
Although, if I'm being very honest I hated being a child. Resented the fact that I couldn't work, couldn't drive, couldn't be on my own; aadulthood proved very liberating and ultimately heartbreaking. Oh well.
Finally, feeling a bit better, the kid-let splashes in the bath, confident he won't drown I type away, and we both wait for the Amazing Race. We, he and I, are nothing short of creatures of habit. Changes freaks me out and there's change coming. Not to Sunday nights per se, but coming nonetheless and I'm scared.
Scared. Freaked Out. Ready to Cry. I hate suspense, hate being picked last, hate it all and hide behind the pillow. That said, I'm trying to provide a good, healthy example to my little man on how to cope and I'm doing my best to NOT hide behind the pillows; how to face fear head on and head held high; how to exist in the midst of change. I tell him openly that I struggle and that everyone does - I tell him to know deep in his being that everyone has their own VH1 Behind the Music or their own E True Hollywood Story. I say do you get the picture of what I'm trying to say? or am I falling on deaf ears? Then I try to compose myself and be brave and I fail and then I try again. At this point, I'm hoping that he learns by osmosis because apparently to him my voice is on mute.
When I'm completely freaked out, I bake. I don't eat it, really none of it, maybe a bite or two (the lemon cake is so worth baking -yum).
In the spirit of change and facing fear, I give you this:
2 cups flour (I think polenta would be a nice mix)
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1/4 tsp vanilla
1 tbsp minced zest of lemon
1 tbsp anise seed
Heat the oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside. Whisk the flour, baking powder, and salt together in a bowl and set it aside. Whisk the sugar and eggs in a large bowl until they're a light lemon color. Stir in the vanilla, lemon zest, and anise seed. Sprinkle the dry ingredients over the egg mixture, then fold in until the dough is just combined.
Halve the dough and turn both portions onto the prepared baking sheet. Using floured hands (this is key), stretch the dough into 13" by 2" logs. Bake until the loaves are golden and just beginning to crack - roughly 35 minutes.
Cool the loaves for 10 minutes or so. Cut each loaf diagonally into 3/8 " thick slices. Lay them cut side up on the baking sheet. Bake until crisp - 15 minutes or so. Turn them once.
Coffee and with biscotti in the morning. Apparently, stress provides great culinary opportunity in my house.
Who doesn't want some of this?